Simple Nutrition Insights
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Simple Nutrition Insights
Self-Compassion: The Missing Piece in Weight Loss
Self-compassion is the missing ingredient for sustainable weight loss that many people overlook while focusing solely on diet and exercise.
• Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend
• Common signs of negative self-talk include phrases like "I already messed up, I might as well continue" and "I don't have the willpower"
• Self-compassion doesn't mean giving up on your goals, but rather giving yourself grace during setbacks
• Social media can contribute to unrealistic expectations and negative self-comparison
• Focus on tracking body composition and non-scale victories rather than fixating on weight
• Identifying the root causes of emotional eating helps develop healthier coping strategies
• Pausing and asking "what do I really need right now?" can interrupt emotional eating patterns
• Replacing negative thoughts with constructive alternatives builds a healthier mindset
• Weight loss is a lifelong journey, not a race with arbitrary deadlines
• Building sustainable habits is more important than achieving rapid results
For a free downloadable healthy weight loss grocery list and guide, visit melissametri.com or find Melissa on Instagram @theweightlossdietitian.
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Hey, hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Simple Nutrition Insights Podcast. I am your host, ilianila Campos, registered dietitian, and I am super excited for today's episode. I have a special guest with me, melissa, and today we're going to talk about practicing self-compassion for long-lasting weight loss. It's so important, so we're definitely going to dig deep into that. But before we start, let me tell you a little bit about Melissa.
Speaker 1:Melissa is also a registered dietitian and nutritionist, weight loss specialist and expert health writer with over 18 years of experience in the health and wellness industry. She owns Melissa Metri Nutrition, a virtual private practice helping women achieve sustainable weight loss. Melissa is a freelance writer for major media outlets and wellness brands and is a sought-after speaker on weight management topics. Melissa believes everyone has the power to improve their health one small habit at a time. I really like that. It is absolutely true. Her approach to healthy eating focuses on what to eat more of for better health, versus what to restrict or eliminate in the diet. Melissa lives in Connecticut with her husband and two boys, where she enjoys training for half marathons, reading and traveling with her family Awesome, well, welcome, melissa to our podcast. I am excited that you're here.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, Daniela, for having me. I'm really excited to have this conversation today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I can relate. I also have two boys, and they definitely keep you busy.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And on your toes, yeah, all the time. Sure, sure, nice, um, okay. So I wanted to know to talk about this topic, right, because I think in it's interesting, because I had a conversation this morning with another client and we talked about how, you know, just the weight loss process, right, doesn't take into consideration or the factors of your emotions, right, and as you are progressing into this new person, this new you, there's a lot of emotions happening, right, maybe possibly frustrations, but also wins, but oftentimes we don't know how to deal with all that, and so I think the self-compassion is so important. Let's start there, right?
Speaker 2:Maybe let's talk a little bit about why this is important sure, yeah, so, as you said, it's something that's not really the concept of self-compassion is something that we're not always talking about.
Speaker 2:We're thinking about just kind of going through the motions when it comes to weight management, of, you know, having a healthy diet and lifestyle and all of those things that are, of course, needed, but really taking into account that lifestyle and all of those things that are, of course, needed, but really taking into account that we're all human and that, as we go through the process of, you know, trying to achieve better health, you know, a healthier weight for ourselves, whatever that is for the person, there are those emotions that come up, there are the barriers and challenges that come up along the way, and those are the key times where it's really important to practice that self-compassion and not beat yourself up when things feel hard or when you feel like you're sort of falling off the wagon that kind of common thing that a lot of our patients may say and we just tend to be hard on ourselves, I think, as as human beings, and I think it's just helpful to remember that we are human and that, um, you know, when these things come up, there are kind of better strategies and ways to be more positive.
Speaker 2:But because, um, I know I've seen in my experience with clients too, when, when a client is hard on themselves, it becomes a longer term setback versus, you know, kind of brushing it off and saying I'm just human, it happened, and kind of letting it roll off.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, I love that and I think it's, as practitioners, right being able to recognize that and support patients that way. Right, like, yeah, you are human. And I attended a webinar that talked about self compassion a little bit and they mentioned that our biology and as humans were able to able to provide compassion to other people. Right, like, if we see other people suffering, we lend a hand, right, we're compassionate, we feel empathy, but when it comes to self right, ourselves, it's really hard to be like why can I do that for myself? Right, right, and so on that. How would you describe self-compassion Like? What does that really mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think a really good way to to explain or define self-compassion is really just, you know, in the context of all things like we're talking. We're talking more specifically today about the context of weight loss. In weight loss, but self-compassion is just being kind to yourself. It's really, um, you know, treating yourself with care the way that you would want that you would treat a good friend or family member, and so, as you said, unfortunately we don't always naturally do this for various reasons, but but it's really important and especially in the context of weight loss, it's it's really about giving yourself grace when you know you had a tough day or a day that you felt that you kind of slipped on your habits a little bit. Because that's going to happen.
Speaker 2:I think, knowing that that will happen, to really expect that, is really important in the context of self-compassion, because everyone has slip ups, Everyone has days where you know it might feel a little bit harder or they're in a situation that it feels harder to stick to healthy eating, and we can't control always everything around us either, and so that's some of the strategies that us, as dietitians, help our clients with, of course, is navigating those situations, but the reality is that they're going to continue coming up and if you have a tough day or meal or time that you feel like you didn't follow or do the things that you wanted to do. So just giving yourself that grace and saying to yourself it's okay, I made this mistake, you know what can I do better next time? And thinking of it in a more positive way versus, you know, saying something like I did this and you know I might as well just continue to follow these unhealthy habits for the rest of the day or week or however long.
Speaker 1:Right. Yeah, I think that it's important to remember, right, that things are going to happen, right, life is going to happen. As you mentioned, we are human and I think, just having that understanding like we're not perfect, right, and things are not always going to be perfect, it's okay that we're going to have some of these days, but how do we respond to that right, how do we move forward instead of just staying behind and stuck just in those thoughts Right, right, it's really good, it's really good.
Speaker 2:Yes, for sure, and I think that what we're talking about today can be especially helpful for those that tend to kind of have that all or nothing thinking and kind of keeping that in mind, for someone that often feels that you know either they're eating really well or they're not you know doing well at all and kind of, and that can be applied to diet, exercise and all of those things, and so I think that it's it's helpful to keep that in mind.
Speaker 2:If you are someone who's listening, that struggles with that, that there are things that you can do to change that mindset, because that's really what's going to help you to continue to move forward, stay more consistent and really be more kind to yourself.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, awesome, thank you for sharing that. And so what are some common signs that either maybe you know of, you've seen in your clients that shows that someone is being too self-critical in their weight loss journey or just being harsh on themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think you know the few examples would be kind of the so they're really the self. It's almost like negative talk to yourself, so kind of the opposite of self-compassion. It's really the things that you're saying to yourself internally or out loud to others. So, for example, I'll give a few key, kind of key examples that I often hear from clients is one is something like I already ate too much today. I might as well, you know, can I keep going. You know the day is already ruined, I already messed up, and so I might as well just keep going.
Speaker 2:This is a very common habit that I see in a lot of clients that just think you know, I've, you know they feel defeated and they might as well continue. And then also another sign is saying something or thinking you know, I already fell off my plan this weekend. You know, weekends can be a challenge, for example, for many people, and just feeling like they don't have what it takes to do this long term and telling themselves like I don't have the willpower, I don't have the ability to do this because of a slip up, whether it was one time or multiple times. You're kind of telling yourself that you're not, you don't feel like you're capable, or kind of cut out, to make these changes, and then, lastly, saying something like feeling like you have no self control, like you don't. Again, you don't have that willpower.
Speaker 2:What's wrong with me, why can't I do this when other people are having success? And so those types of thoughts and words you know, the way that we word kind of the thoughts to ourselves really matters and, again, sometimes this may be so it's important to talk about this. This may be things that are happening that a lot of people may not realize, and it might not be as sort of obvious as these sort of statements, but just as a few examples kind of the most common that I see, but just as a few examples kind of the most common that I see, and I think a lot of these can stem from, you know, sort of social media and what we see other people doing, other people's successes as well. And I think, keeping that in mind too, that sometimes this negative self-talk is stemming just from society kind of putting this pressure of like needing to be perfect and it's, you know, that's not really the reality of what is needed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Thank you for sharing that and just noting that sometimes society plays these. I don't know, I don't even know the word, but expectations, right.
Speaker 1:Like this is what you should look like, or this is you know, if you're doing this, this is how you should end up, right, and that is unrealistic, right. Right and definitely sometimes social media doesn't tell you the whole story, right, people are probably struggling, you know, doing that as well. And so I think, also helping our patients and clients to understand, like, not everything that we see or read or hear in social media, right, is accurate. They probably paint this picture right, so you can just have this image in your mind, but in reality it's probably completely different. And the other thing, too, that, or the follow-up question would be like how do you help your clients manage these emotions right, or get through this negative self-talk?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think it. You know the first step is really trying to you know, kind of dig a little bit deeper into why that's happening. You know the first step is really trying to, you know, kind of dig a little bit deeper into why that's happening. You know where it's stemming from and is the first step in figuring out. You know, sometimes it may stem from you know, the person's childhood or their parents and kind of the words that they used and kind of what they're hearing around them, and kind of just challenging those thoughts with them and saying you know, do you really believe that? Or what is another way that you can put that to really just help to try to change their mindset? Because a lot of times it is a challenge because our mindset is sort of feels like it's ingrained in us and kind of just the way that it is, but the truth is is that it could be changed and modified over time.
Speaker 2:Kind of working through each time that we meet we always talk about with my clients specifically, we talk about their wins first. So I think that is a really key component to focus on first and foremost, whether you're meeting with a registered dietitian or talking to a good friend and focusing on the positive, because there's always positive things happening, even if, for example, the scale is not moving in a given week, and I think that can help as a person starts to see more of the positives that are happening For example, they're getting better sleep or they are in a better mood and maybe more patient with their spouse or their children. All of these things are signs of positive changes happening. And the more that a person sees that and recognizes it and writes it down to see it every day, day in and day out, then they're going to bring themselves back to that and that could be really helpful to keep them in a more sort of consistent, positive mindset.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that I do the same thing with my clients, right, like, let's start with the positives, right, the wins. What have been your wins? And you know, it's interesting because if something negative or challenging happened to them and every like the rest of the week, right, or weeks, were like so many wins. As humans, we focus on the negative, right, I'm like, oh, that was a challenge. And so sometimes, as practitioners, right, like helping the patient to see, or even if they say, oh, I don't have any wins this week, but as you talk to them, you're like, hey, that's a win, and just being able to point it out to them and be like you are having wins, right, and it's okay that we had this one challenge.
Speaker 1:And I love why you mentioned on, like, focusing on the I think I want to stay here for a moment right, because, more specifically with women, right, that scale, oh my gosh. That scale is going to determine if we are doing well or if we're not. Let's talk a little bit about that. How do you help your patients to look beyond that number?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great question because it is a challenge and I think that you know really how you can kind of reframe that and kind of put less emphasis on the scale is looking at so many. So one big factor I would say first and foremost is I help my patients really track their body composition more than anything. So really looking at, you know, so if a person is weighing themselves, they can also see what's going on inside their body. So to be able to see how much muscle they have, you know how much water they have in the body, where is the body distributed, and all of those things to track that more specifically, because that's going to show some of the positive changes that may be happening along the way. That might not, you know right away, reflect on the scale. So if they're, for example, gaining muscle mass and losing fat at the same time, then their weight may stay the same. So if they only saw that scale number, they might feel like they're not. Nothing is happening. So that's just one example.
Speaker 2:But then also, looking at again, one thing I often say to clients is that true weight loss, when we talk about true body fat loss, takes time and it's not a linear process and it's not necessarily going to happen every single week. There may be weeks that somebody may lose a couple of pounds and then others where they don't lose at all and that doesn't necessarily mean that they're doing anything wrong or that they're changing what they're doing. I think when we see it's going on for several weeks, then maybe they hit a plateau. Then we'll reassess and take a closer look at what's happening. But sometimes there's changes in you know, depending on the time of menstrual cycle or a person's hydration status or stress, like there's so many factors that affect that.
Speaker 2:So I think really you know, when somebody understands, when our clients understand all of those factors that come into play, it can make it a little bit more easier to understand that it's not just based on their habits, that these other factors sometimes may get in the way temporarily, but there's so many again reminding them of all the other things that are happening that are great, like, possibly, changes in body composition, changes in their mood, changes in their sleep, their energy levels, they're able to lift more, they're able to run longer. All of these things are amazing and really need to be emphasized. So to keep the person motivated because, you know, if we always focus. I always tell clients to be focused just on the scale and if the person is losing weight or not, then what happens when you meet your weight loss goal? What happens when you meet that you know, a body weight that you're trying to achieve? Do you stop, you know, practicing those habits? And so we really want to focus more on how the person feels and all these other benefits that they're seeing along the way.
Speaker 1:So they continue and it becomes a lifelong practice right, yeah, essentially understanding right or creating these sustainable changes, right, and habits that are going to go beyond the number on the scale. Right, as you mentioned focusing on the body composition, right, that we're losing body fat, right, um, and specifically for women, the number on the scale is going to change often, you know, from week to week. You know you're starting your cycle, you're more bloated, you're retaining more water, so there's a lot of factors, right, and I think it's great that you work with your patients and like helping them to understand, like, what are the factors that are affecting the number on the scale, but also what are the other things, like the non-quantitative ways to measure progress, right?
Speaker 1:Like you're feeling better, you're able to run more, you don't get as tired, right, you're sleeping better, because all these things are essentially going to continue to help with the weight loss. And that can also help with just having more compassion for themselves, right, and understanding like, okay, this scale is not determining my progress, right, I'm still seeing these other changes. I'm still using the restroom better, right, having better bowel movements. I'm able to better manage my stress, right and cope with those quick changes. So, yeah, that's great that you're also working with your clients on that too. Absolutely.
Speaker 2:It makes a difference.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely Okay. Are there any specific maybe affirmations, journaling prompts or tools you recommend to reinforce self-kindness during like setbacks?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think that affirmations can be incredibly helpful. I think that, you know, even just starting with kind of reframing those negative thoughts, so there's negative kind of statements that somebody's saying to themselves. So I can share a few examples of that so that you know, I think when it comes to affirmations and positive statements like this, it's helpful to write them down. So I would encourage listeners to write these down, whatever ones seem to kind of resonate more with them. But a few examples.
Speaker 2:So instead of, you know, having a negative statement such as ate too much today, I have no self control, you know say something like I ate more than I intended to and I didn't really enjoy it, I'll remember this next time I feel good, so kind of just bringing it back to how it made the person feel, not in a way that they're beating themselves up or feeling bad about it, but really just kind of recognizing. You know why are they upset about it and you know that it's okay that this happened. I'll remember this for next time. You know me writing it down, and then that's why tracking sometimes can be helpful, so you can kind of see, you know, what worked and what doesn't work, and then they could feel good for the next time, so reminding themselves that they always have another opportunity to eat in a way that makes them feel good.
Speaker 2:Another example can be, instead of saying I can't believe I binged again tonight or I can't believe I overate again tonight, say, try saying I'm noticing I'm eating a lot at night. Am I getting enough protein and fiber during the day to satisfy my hunger? Is there something I could do better so that I'm not so ravenous at night? So kind of looking at it in a more sort of constructive way to see okay, I'm noticing these habits happening, instead of beating myself up. What can I do differently? What can I look back on to see what might be causing it in the first place?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really like that. Like essentially getting into the root cause right of these behaviors, because sometimes we look at the superficial aspect of it, right, like oh, I'm bad, or I'm just, you know, I'm out of control, or whatever the case may be, there's always a root cause, like there's something happening right, and this is why these behaviors are happening. But being able to help our patients understand that right and see that so they're like, okay, that makes sense, right. I've been more stressed this week, or you know, I talked to someone that made me upset and so it was really helpful. So, with that in mind, right, how do you help clients navigate the emotional eating or guilt and shame cycle with compassion instead of like judgment?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So emotional eating, I think, is very common and I think it's important to first recognize that if you are struggling with this, you're definitely not the only one and that it is. You know, when we eat we're not just eating, we're not just eating for fuel. There's a lot of emotions that go along with it, whether positive or negative. And so if my clients are struggling with this, you really just kind of try to get again going back to that root cause of what is leading to that. You know, kind of taking that step back and evaluating what is leading to the emotional eating Is it a certain emotion that's coming up? What is triggering that? And then trying to find better ways, more productive ways to cope with those emotions.
Speaker 2:And sometimes, you know, it may be still eating something, but having a more nourishing version of that food, or maybe combining, whether it's a sweet food with maybe some fresh fruit, so it's more balanced and it's going to improve their mood.
Speaker 2:Or it might be a non food way of kind of managing that emotion, such as, you know, if they're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you know, taking a quick break from work or whatever is stressing them out and going for a walk, you know, just taking a few moments to find something that helps sort of reset them and gives them that same sort of de-stressed, you know, management that they're seeking. So that could be journaling, that could be again going for a walk, could be calling a friend, and it could be just taking a few deep breaths and just stepping out of the room and sometimes just taking that pause I think is probably one of the most helpful things that a person can do if they're struggling with emotional eating and pausing and just kind of asking themselves what do I need right now? And that can kind of be applied to a lot of situations and then see, you know, just have some of those again non-food sort of coping mechanisms to turn to if needed in that moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for sharing that, and I think that is so important to remember. Right, and I oftentimes talk about this with my patients right, like we don't really learn as we. Obviously we have someone that, a parent, that does that, right, with a child and they learn to do that, but oftentimes we don't learn how to deal with our emotions as we get older. Right, if our parents didn't go through that, we only know what we know, and so we almost find our own ways to deal and cope with our emotions, and either you know they're positive or not, and so if they're too overwhelming, right, sometimes we choose different things to help us manage those emotions. Could be food, right, could be something else, but our brains make those connections right, and every time we feel that way, right, we're going to think about oh, I ate that chocolate cake and it was so delicious and it made me feel better.
Speaker 1:And so it's not so much that we don't have the control right over like we don't want to have that, but your brain has made that strong connection and so finding, like you mentioned, right, finding something that might replace it right or might build a new connection to like, when we do feel sad, right, or we feel like really overwhelmed, pausing or stepping away from it or just taking a little break and if we want to have food after that, perfect, you know, go for it.
Speaker 1:But at least you're addressing the emotion, right, you're aware of it. You're like, okay, I'm feeling this way and because historically I used to eat this food when I felt this way, right, and automatically think about it. Or just it's subconscious, right, like you can just do it. Right exactly, and so I think that is important right that, first of all, it's great that you work with your patients on like how to deal with that right and giving them these tools that that they need and they continue to use.
Speaker 1:right because they can use them anytime, not necessarily with food right, but with anything that they're going to go through, which is great yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:I think it's important even just to add on that. You know, when it comes to kind of managing emotional eating and trying to slowly move away from it, it's okay if it takes time too, I think, recognizing that, you know, if you develop these, you know new sort of strategies to manage it and it doesn't, you know, kind of work really well in the beginning it might take some time and that doesn't mean that it's not possible. I think when we have these, like you said, sort of more ingrained habits, that every time you feel a certain emotion, then maybe you have a certain mechanism that you cope with it with. Then it's going to take a little bit of trial and error to find the best sort of replacement for that. And if it doesn't happen those first few times or it feels hard those first few times, that's okay. If it feels a little bit hard or it feels a little bit uncomfortable, because that's just part of the process and it will get easier where you will replace over, you know, over time, with a new, more positive habit that then becomes your automatic, you know, coping mechanisms.
Speaker 2:It is possible. Again, practice that self compassion, that if it, if it feels challenging at first, or it feels that it's really hard to do in the beginning. That's completely normal, because if you have had that coping mechanism for a long time, it's um, you know, it's just like any habit that we might have ingrained in us. It takes time to build those habits and it takes time to break them as well right, yeah, amazing, and remembering that right it not, it's not going to happen overnight or a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1:It will take time, right.
Speaker 2:And that's okay. That's okay yeah.
Speaker 1:Definitely. What are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about self-compassion, like just in the wellness space or with the people that you work with or in your area of expertise?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's a great question. I think, when it comes to the concept of self-compassion, I think that you know it's maybe like kind of over-skewed to be something that's like, oh, I'm always positive all the time and happy, and you know that I'm not recognizing that there's sort of you know, challenges along the way, and so I think that you know so. Then we want to reframe that to say that self-compassion is really just again, just about kind of recognizing that we're human. It's really not saying that you know that we're not acknowledging mistakes or we're not acknowledging challenges, but we're really just kind of being open and honest and recognizing that, you know, making mistakes or slip ups or whatever we want to call them, they're part of the process. They're part of the process.
Speaker 2:You know, changing habits is a lifelong sort of endeavor and even, you know, for someone who has been practicing healthy habits for a long period of time, there's still days where they, you know, might say, you know, whether consciously or not, like I don't want to do this today, or I just want to let loose and not worry about it. And you know, and that's, that's okay too. It's just, you know, I think the real, the real, what self compassion truly is is that it's just giving yourself grace and whenever a challenge comes your way, that you are recognizing it sooner. Challenge comes your way, that you are recognizing it sooner and over time, so that you can kind of get right back to what you know is working for you, is going to work for you and that reduces so the potential self-sabotage that may come along with you know kind of beating yourself up over things, if that makes sense yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 1:And it's not like and this might be more for for for men, right, that they shouldn't also practice self-compassion. Right, because they're men and you know society and all that. They're still human, right, we're still all human and it's okay to feel your emotions and it's okay to not want to do things. Right, because, even for myself, sometimes I, you know, I don't want to do, I don't, you know, want to do some things, and that's okay. Right, we've given ourselves permissions to right for sure.
Speaker 2:And I think, even like, just to add on, like with what's with the sort of misconception is, I feel like a lot of people may also see, think that self-compassion can be taken too far, potentially, like when it comes to like, oh, everything is, you know, it's okay, I can, you know, let this go for a while and sort of move to the other side of maybe, you know not, not caring or not trying to, you know, to improve the healthy habits and and so, and again, that's not really the concept of what it is. It's really just in those moments where things feel hard or you feel like you made, you know, you know, didn't go in the right path, the right direction, that you're just bringing yourself back and you know, and again, it's bringing yourself back right away, not saying necessarily, it's okay, I'm just going to, you know, kind of give up in that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for definitely making that different. You know defining that, having that difference too. How do you respond to someone who fears that self-compassion might lead to just like what we talked about, right, complacency or just lack of discipline, like they're afraid of? Like well, if I give myself self-compassion, then I just not gonna care, right, I'm gonna be not gonna feel disciplined enough to do it right, right, like they're gonna be too easy on themselves yeah yeah, so I.
Speaker 2:So I would say that you know that's not. It's definitely a fine balance and I think that it's. It's always helpful to kind of bring that thought process back to what was their initial goal in the first place. You know why did they especially if they're coming to see you know myself, or you as a dietitian, for their, you know, for expertise you know what was their initial goal and I think always bring yourself back to that to kind of just ground yourself into.
Speaker 2:Yes, you want to practice self-compassion, but the self-compassion can be helpful in just keeping you sort of motivated and kind of tackling it in a positive way, versus feeling like I have to be so restrictive or I have to do X, y and Z perfectly.
Speaker 2:You know the self-compassion really is, you know teaching them that it's more about just having that balance of you know still enjoying it along the way and still having some times where they can say, you know I really want this dessert or I want this glass of wine or whatever it is, and it's not going to make or break anything in the grand scheme of things. And I think you know working together again on that, changing that mindset that it's not them taking it too easy, but it's. It's really just finding striking that balance of you know how do they want to feel, and always reminding themselves of you know why did they start this journey in the first place, and all the, all the work that they've probably already done to get to that point that you know they don't, they don't. It's not nothing is worth giving up, you know, on feeling your best yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1:thank you for sharing those thoughts, for sure, and assuring them right there. It's okay. Not because you're having some self-compassion right in the moments where you need them, that you know you're just going to be complacent, right? You probably do need a little slowing down at times, right? Yeah?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I also want to add so in that too, I'm thinking of and it's not quite self-compassion, but even just thinking about, I mean, an aspect of self-compassion in the context of weight loss can be that a person is allowing themselves to have that dessert, or allowing themselves to have something freely, which then, as you may have alluded to, that can potentially lead to someone feeling like, well, when do I stop? Where do I draw the line then? And this is something that some of my clients would ask in terms of almost like the concept of intuitive eating If I'm allowing myself and letting go of the guilt, am I going to be able to control the amount that I have? And so, with that, I think it's going back to, you know, always thinking about, like, what you truly want, you know, and if you truly even want that food in the first place. A lot of times you might, you know, want something just because it's there or because everybody else is having it, versus, you know, kind of choosing more wisely.
Speaker 2:And I think that's when it can be more of a balance and choosing to have that you know really good glass of wine, for example, if you're having, you know, at your favorite restaurant or having a dessert that you haven't had in a long time, that you really enjoy, versus having it be more of a regular thing just because and that's where it can become more of that that overall balance of you know pressing that self compassion when it really matters to you versus you know feeling like it's you know, sort of like a free for all and being nervous that you know you go kind of on the other, on the other side, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. And what comes to mind, you know, as you were talking about that, is that sometimes clients, right, might feel like I cannot, they're restriction, right, they're either don't have it at all or if they have it, it's just out of control. And I think it comes with having these really restrictive behaviors, right, or rules that they put themselves like okay, I shouldn't, I'm never going to have that piece of dessert that I really, really enjoyed, and when you do have it, it's like whoa, you know, like a kid in a candy shop, there's no restriction there. And then we have these cycles, right, oh, like, okay, now what have I done? Right? So I think I love what you said about like just the addition of foods, like allowing yourself to have foods, right and adding instead of just restriction all the time, because we know what's going to happen. And that can be difficult for a patient sometimes, when they feel like, well, I've struggled with that food all my life, right, so making or helping them understand, like, why, right, so, maybe because it's so restrictive, right, it's less restrictive.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely. I completely agree. It's really just kind of bringing them back to like no food is bad, no food is off limits unless you are allergic to that food, and so really that it's. You know, the more that a person is saying that food is bad, the more they eventually will want it and that food has more power. So really kind of slowly weaving that, you know, that food or whatever it is into the diet, to kind of like reduce its power over them so that over time it becomes where it's not quite as big of a deal, and that is definitely possible to happen. Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 1:What's one piece of advice you wish every person on a weight loss journey could hear?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Great question. So what I would say is weight loss is a journey, is just a lifelong process and I did say enjoy the process. You know it's it's not a race and I know that's, you know, sometimes definitely a big change in mindset for a lot of people. But I think the less pressure that you put on yourself to have like a timestamp on it, the more you enjoy the process of how you're feeling along the way. So I would say, kind of bottom line, just focus more on the habits rather than the weight loss itself, and then the weight loss will come.
Speaker 1:Right. I love that. I love that a lot because in what's going to help you to maintain that long-term right Is the habits that you build not because like, oh, I lost these many pounds in these many months. Okay, but do you build the strong habits that are going to help you to maintain that weight off right?
Speaker 2:or is it just like?
Speaker 1:you know that's something a boot camp or whatever for like three months, and then I learned nothing, but I achieved my weight loss, right. And then we know what's going to happen, right, and so I think that's great to understand that it is a lifelong change in progress, right, but that's okay because you're building habits along the way, right, and that's what is going to help in the end.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly so I think, even taking it in strides, in like small chunks too, if that helps. I often say with clients like if I do see that they're putting a timestamp on things, then you know it just feels so much more manageable. We say, let's just focus on the next couple of weeks and kind of slowly building these habits and you take it slowly over time so it also feels less overwhelming and then it's much more likely to stick when you think in that way.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, manageable, because you know you have other things that you have to do, not just you know your weight loss journey, you that you have to do, not just you know your weight loss journey, right, you have a million of other things that you have to do. So, melissa, thank you so much for joining me. Where can your listeners, or where can the listeners, find you and learn more about your work? Sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm on Instagram at theweightlossdietitian, I'm also on LinkedIn and they can also find me on my website, melissametricom. It's M-I-T-R-Icom and I have a free downloadable handout that, if anyone is interested, write on my website and it's a healthy weight loss grocery list and guide.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. I'll make sure to add all that information in the show notes. So if you're busy multitasking, just head over the show notes and you'll find all that information. Melissa, any final thoughts, anything else that you would like to share with the listeners?
Speaker 2:Oh, I think it's really just you know thinking, thinking positively, and if you feel that you had you had a tough day, then you know, just, you know get right back the next day. It's. It's never too late to kind of get back to the habits that make you feel your best. So just practice that self-compassion and give yourself grace.
Speaker 1:Yay, awesome. What a great way to end the podcast. So thank you so much, melissa, thank you everybody for joining. Stay healthy, stay strong and I will talk to you in the next episode. Bye-bye for now.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, bye.